A super quick post: Wedding Planning

This is a super cute blog I found.  I can totally relate!  It is about the 6 Stages of Wedding Planning from ShinyPrettyBits

Q: Fill in the Blank: "Say _____"

1) Anything

2) Cheese

3) Yes

4) You love me

If you guessed 1 -- Nope no radio-over-the-head standing here

If you guessed 2 -- Photographers come so much later in the process

If you guessed 4 -- Well of course I know you do, but it's not the answer

If you guessed 3 and thought about my engagement -- nope, sorry. Not yet.  What number 3 does stand for is "Say Yes to the Dress: Big Bliss".  

Now if you know anything about me (which I am assuming you do, cause the only people that are reading this are the best friends, and possible family and friends looking back at older posts) you will know that I love fashion.  I always wanted to design my own "plus-size fashion." I would love to have a job writing and trying stuff to be a journalist for a plus-size column in a fashion mag like Vogue, Marie Claire, or heck, even Redbook. I love pretty things.

The other thing to note is that I love horrible reality TV.  I do not like network reality TV such as: "Survivor," "The Apprentice" or "The Bachelor".  But horrible "Rock of Love," "John and Kate Plus Eight" or as of lately, "The Jersey Shore." I can't look away.  If it is a train wreck waiting to happen, I am watching.   Give me some Kardashians with John and Kate's 8 million kids designing fashion, while they are iron chef cooking all while looking for love in the Real World in Jersey...I AM THERE.  Sad fact, I know. I try and keep the drama out of my life, but I love to watch me some on TV.

When I moved out her to Massachusetts I moved a very long way from everyone I knew.  I spent more time on the phone than I ever had in my life with friends and family.  My one saving grace was on Friday nights, on TLC they would show "Say Yes to the Dress."  Now if you have never seen the show it is a pretty simple concept.  Girl gets engaged and needs a wedding dress, goes to store, and tries on wedding dresses.  So they follow women to a huge bridal store in NYC, Kleinfeld's, and watch as they try on dresses, debate over buying a wedding dress, and of course, all of the other drama related to their own image, family and friends and budget.  That was my Friday nights for about nine months to a year of living out here.  Make dinner, call Katie and/or Emily, and turn on TLC at 9pm for 2 hours.  I loved it.  And as of this season they added a new show: "Big Bliss."  It follows only plus-size girls (who, I think, are harder to dress...I mean not everything flatters us) who are a bit more of a challenge.  Same family, image, and budget issues, but in a bigger package.  Love it.

You are asking at this time, "How does this pertain to you?"  Well, let me tell you.  So after Julie and I went shopping for rings, I applied to be on the show.  I mean, how could I not?  I love love LOVE the show.  Well, the biggest kicker of it all is...I GOT ON!  Yeah! A woman called me Monday and I missed her call.  She left a message and she said she was the casting director for the show and would like to talk to me.  I was floored!  I have been looking for a job for over two months now and can hardly get a call back, and this woman called me back in less than 48 hours?  She called the next day at 11:30am and I answered.  We talked for about 20-25 minutes about my application.  Then she asked if Julie and I would be on the Big Bliss show.  I told her yes, but that we didn't even have a date, were not even officially engaged, and above all hadn't told our parents.  She gave me her contact info and I said I would give her a call back at the end of November.  She was so excited to have us that she wanted us to come out to film in 2 weeks.  I told her that just wasn't possible.  

Even as I write this I am still dumbfounded.  Julie and I have told a few people, but it brings to light all of these other issues.  Most of which are when and how much, when related to the wedding.  But personally, this is like coming out all over again.  I can't say that all in my circle are too enthused about me being gay, even though I came out close to 5 years ago.  But I guess that topic will be another post when we have to tell everyone we are actually engaged.  Right now I am just excited to be chosen to be on the show being my/our authentic self.

First thing is first

The first thing I have to admit is that I am not engaged...officially.

Now, I know you have questions like:

-Officially?

-How can you make all these decisions then?

-Wait, What?

-Why not wait to start a blog then?

I know, I know.  The thing is, we have shopped for rings.  Julie and I shopped for rings on October 30th.  We bought a couple.  They are not in yet.  The actual, "will you marry me" question has not yet been uttered.  However, there are rings and we have discussed what we do and don't want in a wedding. 

We ran errands on Saturday, and stopped by the mall.  On our way out we decided to go into Kay Jewelers. A couple associates asked if they could help.  We said no. Until Donna asked if we were looking for anything in particular.  We said no again, but she got us. She said, "no one comes into a jewelry store this far without looking for something particular."  She had us.  She asked our names, and that was it.  We were in the store for over 2 hours, discussing what we wanted, not just in look and style of jewelry, but in what each wanted to wear and how.  We decided that we can do rings however we want.  There was no set "gay standard."  We could each get a engagement ring, or not...each get a wedding band and use it as an engagement ring, or not.  The possibilities are endless. Do we want to be able to wear the engagement ring with the wedding band, or just 2 rings.  Also, we didn't have to do diamonds.  I never wanted to go traditional, so a beautiful blue sapphire, has always been my choice.  And no fear of possibly getting a "blood diamond."  Donna was fantastic!  She sat with us the whole time, never pressured us or made us submit to "the heterosexual marriage norms", and mixed and matched with me to get the right sapphire with the band I wanted. 

After I decided on about three rings, Julie and Donna ushered me off and Julie decided which of the three I will get.  Julie nailed her ring down right away.  The good thing is we both got exactly what we wanted.  I suggest this for any couple thinking of getting engaged.  Don't make it a shot in the dark, or ask friends or family.  Do it as a couple!  It is super-exciting, and you get exactly what you want.  So, here are the contenders...

This is Julie's engagement ring:

And here are my contenders:

or

Or

the top of this ring

with the band of this one

And don't worry. I will definitely let you know when she does propose...officially.

Alright Here We Go....

So, I thought starting a blog would be good to keep all of my thoughts down.  There are so many when planning a wedding.  Mostly you just make one decision after the next and, hopefully, it all goes together.  I guess the main reason for jotting down what decisions I need to make is for the benefit of others.  My mom lives far away, as do many of my friends.  There are just so many websites to keep track of, photos I love, inspirations, and just random things I have no clue what to do with, let alone how to share with others.  Getting them all in a blog just seems logical, I guess.

So, there are a ton of decisions we still need to make. What we have so far is:
1) We want either a fall or spring 2012 wedding
2) It will be an outdoor service and reception
3) We will not serve dinner
4) We know what we each want to wear for the big day
5) The rehearsal and wedding will be on the same day because the plan is to not get married until 7pm
6) We want to keep it under $10,000, and better if under $7,000 for the whole she-bang
7) The guest list, wedding party, officiants

The biggest decision is what we have left to make: WHERE TO HAVE IT?!?!

Julie is from Boston. Me...all over. NW Indiana, Bloomington, IN, Louisville, KY, Massachusetts...the options are overwhelming.  I guess more on that later.

I guess that gives us a pretty good start.  So much more to come!