So it is all official.

So sorry for the hiatus.  A ton has happened since the last time I blogged. Yes, we did get engaged. On 11-11 actually. I knew it was going to happen because she was very concerned about how long I was going to be at the supermarket. When I drove up the apartment was dark and flickering with candles and music was playing.  I thought I would torture her a bit and make her carry in groceries.  She finally had to say "Stop!" and sit me down and she proposed.  I turned right around and got her ring (that she had picked up that day) and proposed back.  It was sweet and at home, just like I always wanted.  No big production, just wonderful and between us.
So, after the engagement we had Thanksgiving, Christmas in Florida with her mother (remind me to tell you the stories about that one), and moving to worry about.  On top of all of that I began a new job and so did she.  So the past 6 months have been super-crazy. Also, in the past two months, two of my best friends from seminary (we'll get into that later and how that impacts the wedding) got engaged.  One is getting married in August and the other September...both of this year.  I am in both of the weddings so the phone calls of "I'm trying not to being a bridezilla, but....tell me if this person is right or not" or "So-and-So is being selfish right?  This is my day! Right?"  And of course, we are always in the midst of a shower or bachelorette party email or two. They are both straight, but not narrow, weddings that I am happy to be a part of.  Unfortunately they are both 1000 miles away from me, so that is the downer.  I can't just pop over and give them a needed hug or go with them to a fitting.
Since they were both engaged, and lest us just say that... it went viral on a social network, I was feeling a bit of pressure to do the same.  So, we made it such yesterday.  Posted pics of the rings and everything online. This is the moment you have waited for as well.

I am happy, even now 6  months later (which I, guess is a good thing cause they are gonna have to last forever) with our purchase.  They go together, but aren't matchy-matchy. I'm proud to show folks our choice.
So now that we have decided on some of the bigger stuff, hopefully I can keep this updated with our thoughts and reactions to this planning process.

First thing is first

The first thing I have to admit is that I am not engaged...officially.

Now, I know you have questions like:

-Officially?

-How can you make all these decisions then?

-Wait, What?

-Why not wait to start a blog then?

I know, I know.  The thing is, we have shopped for rings.  Julie and I shopped for rings on October 30th.  We bought a couple.  They are not in yet.  The actual, "will you marry me" question has not yet been uttered.  However, there are rings and we have discussed what we do and don't want in a wedding. 

We ran errands on Saturday, and stopped by the mall.  On our way out we decided to go into Kay Jewelers. A couple associates asked if they could help.  We said no. Until Donna asked if we were looking for anything in particular.  We said no again, but she got us. She said, "no one comes into a jewelry store this far without looking for something particular."  She had us.  She asked our names, and that was it.  We were in the store for over 2 hours, discussing what we wanted, not just in look and style of jewelry, but in what each wanted to wear and how.  We decided that we can do rings however we want.  There was no set "gay standard."  We could each get a engagement ring, or not...each get a wedding band and use it as an engagement ring, or not.  The possibilities are endless. Do we want to be able to wear the engagement ring with the wedding band, or just 2 rings.  Also, we didn't have to do diamonds.  I never wanted to go traditional, so a beautiful blue sapphire, has always been my choice.  And no fear of possibly getting a "blood diamond."  Donna was fantastic!  She sat with us the whole time, never pressured us or made us submit to "the heterosexual marriage norms", and mixed and matched with me to get the right sapphire with the band I wanted. 

After I decided on about three rings, Julie and Donna ushered me off and Julie decided which of the three I will get.  Julie nailed her ring down right away.  The good thing is we both got exactly what we wanted.  I suggest this for any couple thinking of getting engaged.  Don't make it a shot in the dark, or ask friends or family.  Do it as a couple!  It is super-exciting, and you get exactly what you want.  So, here are the contenders...

This is Julie's engagement ring:

And here are my contenders:

or

Or

the top of this ring

with the band of this one

And don't worry. I will definitely let you know when she does propose...officially.