Plan on Planning?

So, this weekend...a wash.  I had all of these really great plans to do housework and yard (or what we have of one) work.  Julie took her mother to the airport and I was going to do everything I had planned.
Yeah Right!
I got on a roll with wedding planning instead.  "It is 16 months away," some, like Julie, might say, but I say that the more I do now the less I have to worry about later. Right? 
Most who know me know that I am a details person.  I like things just so.  So the idea that I am making all these plans months (or a year+) in advance is nothing short of normal for me.  So what if I should have gotten the house clean or did work for my actual paying job done.  I enjoyed this.  When Julie returned home from work on Saturday, she was less than impressed with my incessant planning. 
I had lists.  Lots of lists.  Lists of people.  Family, attendants, and officiants.  Lists of  arrangements. Who was even sitting at the ceremony or being driven to and from the ceremony in what car. I know, I know, a bit much 16 months away, but it all had a reason.
I am a seminary graduate, which doesn't explain too much except that God, and therefore, the ceremony is an important part for me.  For Julie, not so much.  She was anticipating a 15-20 minute service.  Me, a life-long Presbyterian USA member, and elder, was looking at a bit longer service.  Not horrible mind you, but at least 35-45 start to finish.  Knowing this information also sets up the discussion/blog of who was going to marry us since about 75% of my friends are ordained ministers of word a sacrament. Julie, had no idea what I had in mind for our ceremony.  I on the other hand, was explaining bits and pieces every know and then when I thought of things, and not every well mind you.  So I thought that if I had a better idea of who was involved, what the timeline for the day was, and especially what the outline and general gist of the ceremony was, I could better inform Julie. Needless to say, she was overwhelmed and shut-down almost immediately.
I then asked her how best for her to talk and plan for our wedding.  I talk to my other friends, who are getting married 3 and 4 months away, almost daily about all of our wedding plans.  I love having conversations with them about what they are doing, or not doing at their wedding.  They are constantly checking in with their fiance's.  I have heard that other ladies have assigned one day a week to talk to their fiance's about plans. 
The problem is that we are both girls.  I know she has ideas or plans and I want to include her.  We work opposite schedules right now (me mostly second shift and her overnights). I started a notebook that we keep on our coffee table so we can jot down things that come to our mind about the wedding.  Are others doing things to keep their fiance in the loop without overwhelming them or having them shut-down?
How do you plan on planning?